My son asked me that question on the way to visit a new church.

He was young. He asked it simply, without drama, the way kids ask things — just a genuine question that needed an answer. But it stopped me cold.

Because I didn’t know.

And in that moment of not knowing, I understood something about belonging that no research paper had ever quite captured for me. Belonging isn’t a policy. It isn’t a diversity statement or an inclusion initiative or a set of metrics on a dashboard.

Belonging is a feeling. And it starts before you ever walk through the door.

My son was already doing the math — before we arrived, before he met anyone, before he had a single experience in that space. He was calculating, the way people from underrepresented groups calculate constantly, whether there would be room for him. Whether he would have to be the only one. Whether that place was built with someone like him in mind.

Most people in the majority never have to do that math. I never had to do it. Not once in my life.

But my sons do it everywhere they go.

I think about that question every time I walk into an organization that says it’s committed to diversity and inclusion. I think about the people on your team — or not on your team — who are doing that same quiet calculation before every meeting, every event, every first day.

The question isn’t whether your organization has a diversity and belonging program.

The question is: what’s the answer when someone asks if there will be anyone there that looks like them?